My World

Life as I know it

I am so sad.

Inexplicably sad.

Sad isn’t even the proper word to meetly describe my wretched state of mind.

I don’t even know why I’m so sad. Or perhaps I do.

I’ve constantly found myself at the mercy of my own mentally self-destructive disposition. A growing nihilistic attitude and disdain for life foments within me.

Oh, how idyllically peaceful I am delving into the imaginary romantic world of governesses and vast English moorlands…(Jane Eyre) but how lost I am after perusing the last pages of these novels.

Life is not so romantic. Perhaps I am fearful for what the future may bring, if it is to bring anything.

To live life to the fullest: yes, this is what I endeavour to do, but what does it truely signify? Will I ever be content or am I condemned to restlessly wander on my detoured path forever?

Such is my state of mind.

I believe this is why I ceased to read; the finishing of a novel always marked a plunge into despair and depression. I just get too passionate and obsessed with the fictional world beyond the printed ink. 

Jane Eyre has marked my ill-fated return.

This beloved classic, greatest love story of all time, insuperable in every way: my heart’s new favorite book. But this passionate tale has deepened my inward dark abyss of loneliness to depths of which I had never ventured to imagine. How will I ever get out of the deceitful hallucinations that ensnare my heart, mind, and soul? Am I prepared to live in them until I draw my last breath, come what may?

Yes, world. This is what I have made of myself: a hopeless romantic, poisoned by the very dreams inspired from poring over revered stories.

For me, books don’t have the power to greatly affect my life. But Jane Eyre came pretty dang close. 

While I might sound disillusioned by the fictional vigor and vivacity I’ve found in this book, I am sane enough to recommend to the world who have not had the pleasure of doing so yet, to read Jane Eyre. If you have taken any sort of liking to classic romantic British literature (with which Jane Austen is most notably associated), you will not regret it. If perhaps you do not take a liking to these types of novels, read it anyway. Read and revere the feminist, independent, and strong-willed ideals of equality. Be inspired.

If only I could have been blessed with such a singular personality. If only my life could be so eventful.